The Inevitable
by Soul93
Summary: Alucard's courtship of his master. Or all the shenanigans Integra had to put up with. Canon compliant
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** I believe I saw one AxI (Eng) story on the first page archive, it was enough motivation to finally publish this. (Rather than the more logical one of simply updating PUF or one of my other 8 unfinished stories instead) 0_0

Unbeta'd so mistakes are mine- though I tried to be thorough. Feedback always appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hellsing

III

In this chapter:

**Rating**: K+, I think...

**Warnings**: Mention of torture, but it's crack nothing dark, creepy or gory.

IIII

Sera's shocking surprise

"Master!"

Alucard waited patiently as the Police Girl stormed into his chambers, her face pinched in anger.

"There's a man in my coffin!"

"Finally," Alucard drawled. "Should I take out the good Bourbon?"

Seras was not pleased, "he is gagged, bound and unconscious!" she exclaimed.

"So you're into S&M..." he said with a shrug, "Far be it for me to judge you."

"Master!" Seras cried stomping her foot. "I didn't put him there!"

"Well lucky for you then... Christmas came early."

Seriously he didn't get what all this hubbub was about.

The young draculina heaved an exasperated sigh, "Master, why is there a man in my coffin?" she asked. "Who is he?" she added, crossing her arms over her chest.

Alucard rolled his eyes as he stretched back into his chair_. Seras and her code of morals could be such a kill joy_. "His name is George," he began as he crossed one foot over the other. "And he is in your coffin because that's the last place, Integra would think to look."

The Police Girl frowned, pondering his words before her eyes widened comically. "That isn't... no, Master you didn't!" she cried in horror.

Alucard grinned, swirling the blood in his goblet, feeling pleased with himself. He'd removed this troublesome factor in his Master's life. Eventually Integra would thank him for this unselfish act.

"Master, this is kidnapping!"

"The man is hardly a child, Police Girl..." Alucard said dryly. "Besides we are simply adopting him into our little family. How do you feel about having an older brother?"

"This is lunacy, Master!" Seras exclaimed, looking petrified. "I thought Sir Integra forbade you from killing him?"

Alucard pursed his lips. Trust the Police Girl to remind him of that little titbit. Stretching out his hand, he picked up the goblet containing his late dinner. The No Life King took a slow and deliberate sip from his goblet, savouring the taste in his mouth before he turned back his attention to his melodramatic fledgling. "Surely, you know better than most Police Girl," he began casually. "That there are a thousand ways to torture a man without actually killing him."

He let the words sink in, watched with amusement as Seras seemed to realise his intentions.

Her eyes widened into twin saucers as her jaw seemed to drop to the floor. "Master you wouldn't..."

"But I would and I have," Alucard stated as he stood up. "Our guest is awake."

"This is going to end badly," Seras moaned as she shuffled behind him, eyes downcast.

Alucard grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets, "That's what I'm hoping for."

"Sir Integra will not be pleased, Master," his fledgling continued, "She might even have you bound again!"

"True," Alucard agreed, "But seeing as **no one** is stupid enough to tell her I think my master won't have any reason to be displeased."

He could practically hear the Police Girl gulp behind him. He so hated threatening the poor thing, but he couldn't have Seras tell Integra. That would spoil his fun.

He walked up to the coffin and nudged it open with his foot. George Archfield blinked up at him, face ashen and consorted in confusion.

"Hello George," he greeted with a wide grin.

The man glanced between him and Seras, his eyes widening as he took in his surroundings. He shook his head from side to side trying to speak over the tape covering his mouth.

"Oh how rude of me, you can't talk," Alucard exclaimed as he bent down and ripped the tape from the other man's mouth. Pleased to see that hairs from that ridiculous moustache had gotten stuck on the tape.

"You!" George accused trying to struggle out of the ropes binding him.

"Yes, it is indeed I," Alucard said dramatically. "Have I introduced you to my fledgling?" he asked, mentioning towards Seras, who stood looking equally as frightened behind him. "Trust me, the fun we are going to have is simply to die for."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:** Please note that the following chapters are FLASHBACKS explaining the interlude. I don't write feel good friendship fics, period. This will definitely have fluff down the line. Unbeta'd, so I apologise for any mistakes.

My workload just keeps piling up so I didn't get time to reply to the reviews:

**Jigoku Pie:** Thank you! And I've honestly only ever thought of your posts as being awesome and endearingly kind.

**Celtica Rous**: The first chapter was more like an interlude, but I feared if I titled it the prologue I'd forget down the line to rename all the chapters and end up with a jumbled mix. This chapter will hopefully clear things up.

And coincidently both of you also reviewed PUF, so thank you for that as well. And also** liamj128** for giving this fic a chance!

IIII

In which there is tacitly implied threats

**5 days ago**

"It's not too late to come along Officer Victoria."

Seras fidgeted with the hem of her skirt, eyes darting from Sir Integra's impartial expression to her master. If she were to be honest, she'd really wanted to go on the little excursion. She hadn't done something like that in ages and it sounded like it could be fun, but one look at her master and she gulped down that desire.

Currently her master, who stood behind Sir Integra, was using his index and middle finger to show a figure walking off the cliff and plummeting to his death. By the look of the failing fingers it wasn't a painless fall.

"No Sir, the outdoors aren't really for me," she said hoping her smile was convincing.

Sir Integra frowned, "It will be overcast for the whole day, so you don't have to worry about exposure to the sun." She said

Seras glanced nervously at her master. He was now making gestures with his hands that mimicked having one's head cut off. Subconsciously Seras placed a hand to her neck. She liked it very much thank you.

Sir Integra spun around to her servant. "What on earth are you doing, Alucard?" she demanded suspiciously.

Alucard swatted the empty air around him, "Swatting flies, Master," he replied all toothy grins. "So small yet so bothersome... the many ways one can get rid of them-" here he paused, giving Seras a meaningful look. "Well it's limitless really..."

Of course Seras knew her master wouldn't kill her, at least she hoped he wouldn't, but it was pretty obvious he didn't want her to tag along. Alucard could really be touchy about alone time with Sir Integra. He was not above being cruel to achieve it either. As Walter who had sustained a fractured femur, after a suspicious fall down the grand staircase two days ago -thus preventing him from coming along- had learned.

Seras didn't want any unfortunate accidents befalling her. "I'm pretty sure, Sir... but thank you for extending the invitation," she forced another smile, eyes catching her Master's thumbs up sign.

"Well I guess I can't force you..." Integra mused aloud as she heaved a defeated sigh.

"I guess that leaves just us too then," Alucard said practically purring as he draped an arm around Integra's shoulder.

"You'll be one arm less if you don't remove your arm from my person, Alucard," Integra said calmly.

The arm was reluctantly retracted.

"Well we better be off then. Seras I leave Walter in your care... with that fracture he can't do much," the young knight said. It was obvious Sir Integra was genuinely concerned for the aged butler. Just as it was apparent that Alucard had never been happier. He was practically glowing, if that were possible.

"The poor thing," he quipped with a feigned look of sadness. "Those shiny stairs always did look dangerous to me... that's why I prefer phasing through walls." He added solemnly.

Seras had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She'd walked those stairs more times than she could count and never did she find them slippery at all.

"No problem, Sir," she said to Sir Integra. "I'll make sure he rests his leg enough."

Sir Integra nodded before she raised a hand in farewell then headed for the parked Jeep that already contained hers and Alucard's hunting gear.

Seras turned to her master. He wore khaki pants, riding boots, a white flannel shirt tucked into his pants and a beige Stetson. A look she had yet to associate with him. She understood it was in spirit for the sport, but that didn't make it any less unnerving. Sir Integra, who wore similar attire minus the hat, wore the look better.

"Enjoy your trip Master," she said cheerfully.

And she would enjoy the tranquillity that was Hellsing manor minus her master.

He smirked, "I intend to," he said cryptically before turning his back on her only to pause mid step. "Police Girl?"

"Yes Master?"

"Might want to air out your coffin while the sun is still up," he said over his shoulder.

Seras blinked confused; there was nothing wrong with her coffin.

"But it's not wet..." she began baffled.

"Actually, I might have accidently slipped and poured Holy Water all over it," Her master admitted with a shrug.

Seras gasped, "What?!"

"It will dry up eventually don't be so dramatic!" he said dismissively as he made his way to the car.

Her master had soaked her coffin with Holy Water?! _Why would he do such a thing?_

_To ensure your cooperation of course_. He said through their mental link as he chuckled darkly to himself.


End file.
